How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
