You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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