I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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