the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize