Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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