Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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