he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
