i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
