But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
