Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Blood and glitter go together right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
