It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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