so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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