how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
