I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just google imaged poop.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
