You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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