who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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