I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You took a bar mat shot.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize