my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
