we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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