just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I got chris browned last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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