What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
