Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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