Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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