woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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