Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize