I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
