If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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