You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize