I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
