Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
