Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
