I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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