Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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