He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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