I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
