I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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