After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
