Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
