Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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