I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
