Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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