I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
