1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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