If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it's great music for shaving your balls
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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