ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
