So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
