Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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