he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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