Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
