have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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