my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
