this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
