I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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