oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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