Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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